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M. Hellinger Community, Literature, Reflection

That Glorious Freedom Pt. 3

“I am the Director,” said Ransom, smiling. “Do you think I would claim the authority I do if the relation between us depended either on your choice or mine? You never chose me. I never chose you. Even the great Oyeresu whom I serve never chose me. I came into their worlds by what seemed, at first, a chance; as you came to me- as the very animals in this house first came to it. You and I have not started or devised this: it has descended on us — sucked us into itself, if you like. It is, no doubt, an organisation: but we are not the organisers. And that is why I have no authority to give any one of you permission to leave my household.”

This a series of posts that begins here.

Warning: Spoilers ahead. If you want to know the whole story first, read The Space Trilogy by C.S. Lewis.

Now we turn to Jane and see an entirely different story. Jane begins the story just like Mark, with an improper view of Freedom. She is regretting her Marriage to him, her being tied down in a regrettable situation which isn’t what she thought it would be. Her vision of Marriage is wrong, but her vision of what freedom looks like within Marriage is really what’s driving this problem. She wanted to remain herself, not get lost in the other. Since both her and Mark have this attitude, they are both failing to give themselves wholly to the other, both failing to freely empty themselves to love the other.

In the midst of this, she finds herself troubled by an incredible gift she has: the ability to see past her own experience. In this way, Jane really becomes the center of the novel, because both sides desperately need her. It is this skill and how it is sought after that I think best tells us Lewis’s view of the workings of the Devil and God.

I am struck by the laxity of Ransom’s approach to the whole situation of convincing Jane to join his rag-tag team. The attitude he presents is one that communicates the truth – they could really use her as part of the team, but ultimately his trust is in something more powerful and therefore she is totally free to choose. If she comes, great. If she joins Belbury, well, its certainly a setback, but the crux of the fight really doesn’t rest on her in the way the reader would expect.

The same is true for us in a way. God has won the victory over sin and death. In reality, He doesn’t need us to help Him in that, in fact, He is fine without us. Therefore, His concern is not trying to build a more powerful army, with the gifts and abilities he needs to win. Rather, God is concerned with building a community of beloved Sons and Daughters who live in intimate and unceasing union with Him and each other. The only way that happens is when we willing submit ourselves to His Fatherly Love.

In the same way, Ransom certainly sees the use that Jane’s gift brings, but he is in no way interested in forcing her to join them because in forcing her he would remove any meaning her being on the team gives. It would limit her free gift of herself which is the prerequisite for love. He would gain nothing because the person is what matters, not the skill. This is seen in Mark’s case as the opposite by him being so concerned about how they will use his abilities and where he fits in in Belbury. Jane knows she brings a useful skill, and Ransom knows how it will be helpful, but she has to give herself over in freedom before that skill is any use to him.

“There you are,” said Camilla.“Oh, Mrs. Studdock, you must come in. You must, you must. That means we’re right on top of it now. Don’t you see? We’ve been wondering all this time exactly where the trouble is going to begin, and now your dream gives us a clue. You’ve seen something within a few miles of Edgestow. In fact, we are apparently in the thick of it already — whatever it is. And we can’t move an inch without your help. You are our secret service, our eyes. It’s all been arranged long before we were born. Don’t spoil everything. Do join us.”
“No, Cam, don’t,” said Denniston. “The Pendragon — the Head, I mean, wouldn’t like us to do that. Mrs. Studdock must come in freely.” “But,” said Jane, “I don’t know anything about all this. Do I? I don’t
want to take sides in something I don’t understand.”
“But don’t you see,” broke in Camilla, “that you can’t be neutral? If
you don’t give yourself to us, the enemy will use you.”
The words, “give yourself to us,” were ill-chosen. The very muscles of Jane’s body stiffened a little: if the speaker had been anyone who attracted her less than Camilla she would have become like stone to
any further appeal. Denniston laid a hand on his wife’s arm.

The appeal is for her to give herself over. The reason she is so hesitant at the suggestion is that she has yet to build trust with the person to whom she is giving herself over; in this case, Maleldil, in our case, God. The reality is that the goodness of Maleldil leaves no room for a half-hearted gift. In our response to God, as was mentioned in the first post, He doesn’t want our ability to write, or cook, or whatever. He has no use for them. The only thing he wants is the entirety of our being, all of our love. That is something that is incomprehensibly great, something that doesn’t happen at once, but through conversion and constant growth. Jane’s process is not an inside/outside of the circle process like Mark’s. It’s a slow integration into the community that happens to the extent that she is willing to give yourself to us.

Jane’s freedom is never violated. In fact, her freedom is constantly maintained by Ransom, who understands what love is and what it demands. This is the trusting love made possible through an authentically free gift of self to God that will conquer That Hideous Strength.

“I am not speaking of the wraiths,” said Ransom.“I have stood before Mars himself in the sphere of Mars and before Venus herself in the sphere of Venus. It is their strength, and the strength of some greater than they, which will destroy our enemies.”

Mars and Venus, the Masculine and Feminine, are for us the most understandable symbols of the Love that conquers darkness. They are the representatives of that time, in Original Justice, when Man and Woman loved each other in perfect freedom and God had possession of their entire selves as a free gift. It is this love, which points to the very mystery of God’s love which is possible by the pure exercise of free will that conquers. It is what drove the Incarnation and what allows us, here and now, to be wrapped up in God as his beloved Sons and Daughters.

Freedom, then, is seen not for what we think it is. Freedom is not license for us to do what pleases us. Rather, freedom is the underlying necessity for love. Once we are caught up in love, in a sense, we lose our freedom. Why is this? Because the free assent to love, to respond to the other, is what allows us to see the other as a part of us, and us a part of them. Once we realize that we are part of that Lover, obeying the wishes of a Lover is really an exercise of freedom rather than a limit on it. The paradox is that the more we love, the freer to love we become because disobeying the pure wishes of our Lover –specifically God who made us– is to go against our nature, to attempt to be something more than a creature, to attempt to be God.

Next time, we will conclude this little reflection with some thoughts about how freedom is maintained at all times by God.

B. Isenbarger Discernment, vocations

I know your vocation in life!

One of the privileges we have as seminarians is going to school visits with either high school or grade school students. It is always a lot of fun to answer their questions about life at seminary and why we want to be priests. But the purpose of our visit is typically to talk about the thing we are currently living and discerning: vocations.

The whole idea of vocations is a buzzword in the world of many young adult Catholics. In many cases, I have met folks who realize God is calling them to a particular way of life, and they become like Nicholas Cage going on some mysterious treasure hunt. While the call of God is indeed mysterious, it does not need to be something that causes distress and anxiety. In fact, these things are not from God. Instead, the reality is that you and I are an eternally loved son or daughter of a Father who desires nothing but the most unimaginable joy for our lives. Quite simply, He delights in us!

And, the good news is, I also have a gift of being able to infallibly tell you your vocation in life. 

So, here it goes:

Your vocation in life is…

To be a saint. Nothing more, nothing less. 

The reality of God’s calling in our life is fundamentally to bring us into the eternal beatitude of heaven – to be saints. This is the base and foundation of our entire Christian life. Everyone one of us is called to holiness, plain and simple. 

So, how do we become holy? 

Unfortunately, holiness is not a self-help project. In fact, if you try all by yourself, I can guarantee you will fail. 

On the positive side, though, the Father has given his Son to be with you every moment of your life, and even allowed Him to experience death so that even in the grave you are not alone. In other words, Jesus wants to walk with you from your conception all the way to heaven. He wants you to be his saint. 

What does this all have to do with discerning a state in life such as priesthood, marriage, or religious life?

Everything.

The call to holiness is primarily a call to friendship with Jesus – to walk with him every step of our lives. In the most fundamental way, Jesus is our vocation. He is the goal itself. It is out of this relationship with Jesus that we are led to a particular state in life. It cannot be otherwise. Our vocation is not a means to finding Jesus. Rather Jesus is the source and destiny of our vocation. Only in Him can we find lasting peace, and only in Him can we be led to our vocation. 

In sum, God has called us to extraordinary freedom as his sons and daughters – not to a spirit of fear and timidity. So, do not become discouraged with the process called discernment. Even if things seem cloudy and uncertain, you have a loving Father who sent His Son to guide you back home. 

And I’m pretty sure He knows the way!

M. Hellinger Community, Literature, Reflection

That Gloriou​​​s Freedom Pt. 2

Last time, I set the basis for this discussion in presenting some aspects of freedom and how important it is as a basis for Love. This time, we are going to dive into the ways in which the experience of the two main characters of C.S. Lewis’s That Hideous Strength demonstrate how God works versus how Satan works, especially when it comes to freedom.

This is the second part of a series that begins here.

I once again note this series is going to, by necessity, contain some spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Let’s start with Mark. Poor chap.

“Making things clear is the one thing the D.D. can’t stand,” replied Miss Hardcastle.“That’s not how he runs the place. And mind you, he knows what he’s about. It works, Sonny. You’ve no idea yet how well it works. As for leaving, you’re not superstitious, are you? I am. I don’t think it’s lucky to leave the N.I.C.E.You needn’t bother your head about all the Steeles and Cossers. That’s part of your apprenticeship. You’re being put through it at the moment, but if you hold on you’ll come out above them. All you’ve got to do is to sit tight. Not one of them is going to be left when we get going.”

Throughout this tale, Mark’s driving motivation is to be part of a circle, a community. It display’s itself from the beginning with his involvement in the “Progressive Element,” and turns out to be his demise as he falls into the trap of the NICE. And that’s just the point, Mark is controlled by this need to fit in, to belong, and it is this un-met need that the evil forces use for their own ends.

His whole situation screams of manipulation. He is essentially preyed upon by the NICE in an attempt to get to his wife. Once brought in, he is convinced that he cannot leave (although as the story develops it is clear that he has strong reason to believe that he cannot leave as anyone who tries to is murdered). Even when he is eventually given some “freedom” it is again only used as a tool to manipulate him into doing something for the evil power, be it trying to convince his wife to come to Belbury or watching over the Tramp.

The point here is this: Mark was never free. In many ways, he is convinced he is free, especially as regards the way in which he views his marriage. But the whole time, his mistaken perception of the world and freedom are being used to draw him into the heart of evil in the world. He starts convincing himself that he is disconnected from what is happening by just being the guy writing up the lies for the papers, not the one making them, etc. He is trapped in a false view of freedom that only serves to manipulate him and keep him stuck in his own small self, not open to Reality.

It’s also important to note that he is in pursuit of a good, namely, belonging. He cannot get that feeling with his wife, because they both refuse to subordinate their wills and lives to the other, instead choosing to try to live the lie that they can maintain total freedom and yet have an intimate and meaningful relationship, and so he searches for it elsewhere, to no avail.

By way of a brief, but related aside: I think it is important to note here how freedom plays into our vocations. In every vocation, we live out a call to intimacy with God if we live it rightly. This requires us to submit freely to the will of the other, in Matrimony it’s the spouse, in Religious Life and Priesthood, it’s Jesus and His Church. Our freedom is not limited when we give it away like this, because every day we must renew our free offering of self. Things go awry when we stop giving ourselves completely to the other, this is when marriages and religious life start falling apart—because we start keeping some of ourselves for our own (like Mark and Jane do).

Another way in which this takes place explicitly is in the process he goes through as his “initiation” into the inner circle. This endless pursuit of the “objective” is nothing more than a repression of his freedom. In a world that only looks for “objectivity,” one becomes a slave to data (which can be skewed quite un-“objectively,” mind you). What is removed is the whole Affective sphere of Man’s experience, which is ultimately dehumanizing. Without the ability to exercise the affect, man is hardly capable of being anything more than a slightly more apt robot, subject to the whims of commands of someone else guised as “reason” instead of the unique person who is capable of encountering Truth with his whole being and learning to respond to it.

What happens to Mark in this story is what happens to us as we fall into sin. We slowly convince ourselves that our “freedom” is really a license to do what benefits us while we pursue our own vision of what life is and confine any “supernatural” power acting in the world to our narrow worldview. As we find company in this endless pursuit for meaning apart from what we were made for, we slowly find ourselves deeper and deeper inside an existence that has no meaning, that seems to draw life out of us and leave us less than ourselves with doubt, anxiety, confusion, etc.

The whole time our experience of the Devil is revealed: he is someone who will do anything to convince us to join him, even fooling us about the good. Further, once we join him, he convinces us that the only way to survive in his hopeless world is to go deeper, to find the secrets that God doesn’t want us to know, to exercise “freedom” by not being limited by any rules that we don’t like. That is what the title of this work refers to, That Hideous Strength of Satan. What is the answer to such a sad reality? To the pressure exerted on us with what seems like overwhelming strength? For an answer, we must assess Jane’s situation.

B. Isenbarger Discernment, Relationships

Love ‘em before you date ‘em: A principle for intentional dating and discernment


When I was a young man in college, I went through what most young men go through – the dating scene. As it goes, I found some young women who were attractive, and I sought to gain their attention. I would take them out for ice cream, or go to a movie, or whatever else seemed like a decent date. Then would follow the entire digital dismay of timely text messages and Facebook likes, followed by an impossible discernment of whether this person likedme or not. Inevitably, after a few dates, there was then the awkwardness of defining the relationship – Are we a couple? Or just friends? Are we just talking? (whatever that means – I think we all talk to dozens of people every day!) In short, the dating scene as I knew it was one of the most confusing places to be – and for a Catholic man who was desiring to live a life of virtue and sanctity – it made the discernment of my vocation nearly impossible. 

Then, I met a young woman during my senior year who flipped that on its head. After I was clear with her that I was interested in dating her, we sat down and had a conversation about the purpose, or telos,of our relationship. She was a committed and faithful Catholic woman, and I was striving to live a life of holiness as well. As we reflected on the nature of our relationship – it very quickly became clear that our relationship should be aimed at what all relationships should be aimed at – heaven. In other words, the relationship I had with her was most fundamentally no different than the relationship I was to have with any other person on planet earth – a relationship of love – in which the salvation of the other person is placed at the forefront. 

After that discussion, it seemed everything had changed in our relationship. No longer was there the anxiety about whether she liked a picture I had posted on Facebook or the urgency to send so many text messages in a day. Most importantly, there was never the awkward decision when it was appropriate to say those three little words: “I love you.” Instead, when we placed the salvation of the other at the forefront, it was a no brainer – as Christians we have no other choice but to love each other. 

Now, all of this is not to say that our relationship was all rainbows and butterflies after we realized our purpose. In fact, it turned into one of the most painful experiences of my life. After we had been engaged for nearly an entire year and were mere months away from our wedding – an incessant restlessness continued to stir in my heart. Though I had thought about priesthood previously, the thought became unshakeable. And so, I was faced with the gut-wrenching decision to bring this up with my fiancée. 

After many tears were shed and sobs shared, we decided to call off our wedding. Quite literally, one of the most painful experiences of our lives. But in the midst of that unforgettable conversation on a warm July afternoon, our conversation ended with three of the most surprising words for such a moment: “I love you.” In spite of the ending of our engagement and plans for marriage – our fundamental disposition did not change. We still desired the will of God and each other’s salvation above everything else. 

As I write this now, I am three years into my seminary formation and was just recently formally declared a candidate for holy orders. Nonetheless, I still love my ex-fiancée. Obviously, I have no intention of marrying her and we are not romantically involved with each other – but I hope with the entirety of my being to see her in heaven someday. Though we talk very rarely, I pray for her quite often. I have offered many Mass intentions on her behalf, and I look forward to the day when I am a priest who is able to bring her the means of salvation through the sacraments. In short, though she is not my particular bride, she is very much a part of the Bride of Christ (the Church) – and I hope to celebrate with her in unending joy at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. 

So – why do I share this story with all of you? Quite simply, because I wish I would have known all of this back when I first started on the dating scene. As Catholic men, it is imperative that we love the women we date even before we go out with them for the first time. As St. John Paul II made abundantly clear in his theology of the body, God has assigned the dignity of every woman as the duty of every man[1]. Whether we are married to a particular woman for 75 years, or called to lifelong celibate chastity, we must seek the salvation every woman we meet – even those we date.  

The benefits of this simple principle are many. For instance, I found that when love of the other is put first, there was no longer the cat-and-mouse game of who likes who more or less. Likewise, the questions regarding purity and chastity became much clearer. If I’m actually seeking to love someone by placing their salvation first, I no longer asked the question “How far is too far?” Instead, I began to think of ways to protect and uphold the dignity of my significant other as my chief duty and delight. And as we grew in purity, the beatitude regarding the pure of heart truly seeing God (see Mt. 5:8) became reified. In short, by loving the other person first, purity ensues, and the will of God becomes much clearer.     

It seems to be the most obvious thing for a Catholic man, but when it comes to romantic relationships, the primacy of love often seems to go out the window. However, I can assure you if we enter into any relationship with the primacy of love, we will soon find ourselves being configured to Christ Himself who is both Bridegroom and High Priest. While we will undoubtedly be wounded as He was, we will also undoubtedly be welcomed into His Father’s arms.  And all of this does not have to wait only for the life to come. In fact, if we live in the primacy of love now, we can already begin to sing with the great multitude of heaven: “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready (Rev. 19:7).”

This post originally was written for the folks at Those Catholic Men. It can be found here.

[1]General Audience, 24 November 1982. https://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/jp2tb100.htm

B. Isenbarger Healing, Jesus Christ, Reflection, The Faith

Jesus wants to heal you

Do you actually believe that? Or is that phrase simply some kind of pious sentiment. In the course of our lives we have all experienced suffering to one degree or another. However, when that suffering becomes prolonged and shows very few signs of progress, it is very easy to become disheartened and doubtful. In fact, it becomes very easy to doubt whether God actually does want to heal our broken bodies and wounded souls. Even the most stouthearted saints like Therese of Lisieux began to feel the overwhelming darkness and extraordinary feelings of isolation from God when enduring the trials of tuberculosis. 

So, let’s take a deeper look at the meaning of healing – does Jesus actually want to heal us?

To start – what does it mean to be healed? In the biblical world, to be healed means to be made whole or to be saved. In fact, the Gospel writers often use the same word to indicate both healing and saving. It is interesting to note, though, that not every one who encountered Christ in the Gospels was physically cured. However, Christ did desire for them all to be saved and in this way He truly did desire to heal all those encountered. Unfortunately, some did not recognize the healing presence of Christ in their midst. I think this is the case with most of us when it comes to the Lord’s healing presence. 

According to John Paul II, healing is the Healer, Jesus Christ.

In his encyclical Redemptoris missio, St. John Paul II pointed out the following:

“Jesus implies that the message of salvation is in fact himself: “Since the ‘Good News’ is Christ, there is an identity between the message and the messenger, between saying, doing and being”

In other words, the message of healing and salvation is not primarily found in the external act of having particular ailments cured of infirmity, but rather in the communion with the One who is salvation Himself. It is from this source alone that our bodies and souls can actually be restored to health.

To use a striking example, let’s recall the story of the ten lepers in the Gospel of Luke 17:11-19. Take a second to check it out and recall the story here. What happens in the story? Ten lepers, the most outcast of society and in extraordinary pain, approached the Lord and begged for His pity. I’m sure it’s a familiar place we have all been – looking for anything that will help and begging the Lord for mercy. What happens next is the incredible part of the story and exemplifies total healing. While all ten of the lepers were cured of their leprosy, only one was totally healed – the one who returned to Jesus, fell at His feet, and gave thanks. In response to this, what does Jesus say? “Your faith has saved you.” 

Here are the takeaways from this little pericope. 

First, all of us our broken and wounded in our humanity. We all need healing and saving. Like the ten lepers, there is no shame in begging the Lord for His mercy. In fact, this is absolutely what we should so. Along with this, though, we must be especially disposed to receive the Lord’s healing in whatever way He chooses to give it. While the nine lepers saw their physical maladies cured, only one saw the source of the healing and returned to be in communion with Christ. In this way, he was totally reintegrated in both body and soul. He received total healing – salvation.

And how did he receive this healing? Jesus said it was through his faith. Faith is the source of our healing. It gives us eyes to see the presence of Christ in our midst so that we can enter into communion with him. For it is in communion with Christ that we are led to the vision of the Father, which is heaven. To put it simply, without Christ there is no healing. With Him, there is always healing – for He is healing itself. 

In sum, there is no human condition which Christ does not want to heal. He truly desires to bring all woundedness and brokenness into communion with Himself. This is the very nature of His life and ministry. By nature of the Incarnation He brought our broken humanity to Himself, and through the mystery of His Cross He conquered death and brought about eternal life through His resurrection. In so doing, there is now no area of human life which is exempt from His presence – from His healing. The key, I believe, to receiving this healing is found in that great gift of faith which allows us to see Christ’s presence pervading every aspect of our lives. It draws us into communion with Him and will inevitably allow us to see the finality of our healing according to the eternal horizon of heaven. 

So does Jesus want to heal you?

Ask Him.

I believe He’s already in the process. 

M. Hellinger Community, Literature, Reflection

That Gloriou​​s Freedom Pt. 1

“Not that way either,” said Ransom, hesitating like a man who is reluctant to come to the point.“No power that is merely earthly,” he continued at last, “will serve against the Hideous Strength.”

Recently I finally finished reading another great work by C.S. Lewis: The Space Trilogy. More specifically, I finished That Hideous Strength having finished the other two in September of 2018 (yes, to my shame, it took me that long to get around to finishing the Trilogy). The reality is, I wasn’t very motivated to finish because I wasn’t enjoying the beginning of the third book. After the spiritual high that ensues from reading Perelandra, the beginning of That Hideous Strength (from here, THS) is, well, just not that interesting. It’s also kind of weird. Just putting that out there.

It wasn’t until forcing myself to finish that I realized the immense beauty of the series as a whole. One thing has been stuck in my mind since and that is a reflection on a motif that I think dominates both the series and the Christian life: Freedom.

Warning: What follows is a multi-part reflection that requires some plot points to be discussed. If you haven’t read the book and are planning on it in the near future, read them and then come back to this. You’ve been warned. Also, I do not claim to have a perfect understanding of the book, I simply present some simple thoughts about one way to view it.

There is one thing God wants, and surprisingly, it is the one thing He cannot take. What’s God after? What has He been waiting for, working for, for all eternity? Your heart.

God is omnipotent, but it would be an absurdity to think that God can contradict Himself due to His all-powerful nature (the question of whether God can make a stone too large for Him to lift falls into this kind of category, but I digress). Therefore, if God creates each one of us in His image and likeness, He creates us with a free will that He cannot manipulate, because that would mean its, eh, well, not actually free.

John tells us in his first letter that, “Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Without going into the distinctions of love and its complex nature, it suffices here to simply say that without freedom there can be no love. That is why God must give us free will if we are made in His image and likeness.

That we might not is precisely what makes that we do meaningful (that is why the phrase, “you didn’t have to”, or “you shouldn’t have” sneaks into our vocabulary as a way of expressing gratitude for a surprise act of love). Therefore if we are made to love, our freedom can never be interrupted or manipulated in any way in authentic love. One way we experience this is in every Sacrament there is some aspect of the expression of consent.

When you present yourself for Confession or Anointing you come by your own free will. When you come to the Church to be married, you are asked before all if you come “without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly (Rite of Matrimony).” When a man petitions his bishop for Holy Orders, at the end of the letter he must assert that he will “receive the sacred order of his own accord and freely (Can. 1036).” In Baptism you are asked what you desire from the Church (or your parents are asked for you). In Confirmation, you ask your sponsor to present you to the Bishop.

Lastly, at the Eucharist, you freely come forward to receive communion. However, I would contend that your assent to receive actually is made during the preface. In the dialogue with the priest before the Eucharistic Prayer begins, he says to the people: “Lift up your hearts” to which the people respond, “we lift them up to the Lord.” One can only imagine how long God has waited to hear you say those words freely and without reservation.

It is the freedom of all of these encounters that makes love possible. If we are in any way coerced into a relationship, it loses its meaning because part of us is missing, namely, our free will which is essential to who we are as humans.

In the next part, we will go into the ways in which THS shows how God invites us into His love and how Satan creates roadblocks of all kinds to do his best to prevent our freedom from being exercised.

Fr. T. Zehr Catholicism, Mary, Relationships

Baby Jesus and His Mom

I have 2 nieces, 2 nephews, and one on the way.

Recently my little sister had a baby boy and I was sick at the time, so I didn’t get the chance to hold my new nephew. My sister was somewhat upset that I didn’t hold him, I think because she thought I didn’t want to hold him, which was NOT the case.

When I finally did get to hold him, she made kind of a big deal about it and was really excited. I think the reason is that it wasn’t enough for me to just see him, or for her to tell me about him, but she wanted to share him with me; she wanted to share the joy and excitement that Henry was for her.

On Saturdays and feasts of Mary, we continue to celebrate the coming of Jesus, but in a special way we celebrate the person who brought Jesus into this world: his mother.

Just like my sister, Mary, being the good mother that she is, wants to share her son with all of us, for us to hold, to cherish, and experience for ourselves the Love and Joy which He IS.

Mary wants us to have physical contact with her Son, just like my sister wanted me to have physical contact with hers. This might seem odd, we can’t hold baby Jesus like I can hold my nephew, but we can still experience Jesus Christ in a physical way: in the Eucharist.

Just like my sister, Mary LONGS and DESIRES to have us be with Jesus, and we can when we receive the Eucharist at Holy Mass. We need to be sure that we aren’t sick when we hold something as precious as a baby, so we need to be sure that our SOULS are healthy before we receive something so precious as Jesus Christ. If we are in a state of sin, we should refrain from receiving, but in the meantime, Jesus’ mother is waiting and longing for us to return to her son with a healthy soul.

So Get your soul clean and receive the baby Jesus into your heart in the Eucharist.

B. Isenbarger Evangelization, Feast Days, Relationships

Have you ever met Jesus?

Hey, have we met before?

In the readings for the feast of St. Paul’s Conversion from the Acts of the Apostles we get a startling story of some one meeting Jesus for the first time. It really is an incredible story. You can check here for the details.

But how do you typically answer that question?

Honestly, I usually get a little uncomfortable when I think about it. Have I really met Jesus? I mean, I’m not sure how tall he was, or how long his hair was. Or, what color were his eyes? Maybe I haven’t met Jesus…

Yikes! That’s a scary thought.

Before we get too unsettled, let’s take a closer look at St. Paul’s conversion to see how he met Christ.

On the way to attack the Christians living in Damascus, Paul experiences the blinding light and hears these words from Jesus: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 22:7). Jesus does not say: “Why are you persecuting my friends?” or “Why are you attacking my children?” No, Jesus says that when Paul was persecuting Christians, he was persecuting Christ Himself.

So often, it is easy to think of Christ as a theoretical idea or a moral teacher from the first century. But we cannot let this be the case. A few years ago, Pope Benedict brought this to light in his encyclical Deus caritas est when he said the following:

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.”

And so it was with St. Paul. On that road to Damascus, he encountered Christ – and was changed forever. This is one of the most pivotal moments in history. On that road, after encountering Christ, Saul became Paul and began to transform the entire culture of the Roman Empire and Western civilization.

So, have you ever encountered the Person of Christ?

I bet you have, and the answer may be closer than you think.

It is precisely through the Church – your brothers and sisters sitting right next to you – that you have encountered Christ.

Every Christian has entered into relationship with Christ through the Church – made up of individual persons. After Paul had the encounter on the road to Damascus, where did he go? He went to Ananias to be instructed in the faith and to receive baptism. His encounter with the light of Christ was inseparable from his encounter with the flesh and blood of Christ in the people of his Church.

Certainly, as Catholics, we see Christ most distinctly in the Blessed Sacrament, but he is also truly present in our other Christian brothers and sisters. That’s not me just saying that in some poetic way – it’s a reality. Jesus shows this to us in the story of St. Paul. Another master of evangelization also brought this out in a clear way. C.S. Lewis makes the point in the following way:

“Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”

In short, to the world, you are Christ. You are Christ’s true and living presence here and now. You may be the only “Bible” a person ever reads or the only “sacrament” some one ever experiences. As Paul met Christ on the road and was changed forever, may every one who encounters you and I – the Church – sense the warmth and light of Christ.

M. Hellinger Catholicism, Community, Jesus Christ, Relationships

The Universal Language: The Person of Jesus Christ​

“The shutting up of oneself in this inner fortress of isolation, which exists secretly even in the most jovial joiners of clubs, is proof of narrowness, limitation, even stupidity. For it presupposes a certain egocentric attitude toward the world and God. The man who has been melted by the sun of values, and above all the man who has been wounded by the love of Christ, is also lovingly open to every man and has entered into the objective unity of all. Yes, this ultimate true spirit of communion, the universal disposition to love, and the life in the ultimate loving “We,” is only possible as a fruit of the ultimate “I-Thou” communion with Christ, through which we are transfigured into Christ. Every attempt to achieve this “We” without Christ leads to a superficially anchored pseudo-communion.”

Dietrich Von Hildebrand, Liturgy and Personality

Given some of the unique opportunities that have presented themselves to me by my being a student in Rome, I have been recently reflecting on the beauty of the universal Church and the light of Jesus Christ in my own life and the life of the world. What I have come to find is that the measure of community that we experience is intimately tied to our relationship with Christ.

For Christians, no meeting is mere chance, everything works, in the end, for God’s glory. My travels of late have taken me to three different nations. In each one, I have found that it is my relationship with Christ, more than any human language I know (or not know), that makes true communion and intimacy with others possible. Yes, it is true that on some basic human level, we are all able to connect. However, that connection, that intimacy, is deepened in unimaginable ways when people are striving for intimacy with the Lord.

For the years I am blessed to spend here in the Eternal City I am not able to return home for Christmas. Therefore, this year was the first Christmas I have ever spent away from home. I did not really have any particular expectations of what this would be like; I knew it would be hard, but so is being away for the major part of five years. I decided to go to England for a few days around Christmas, and so I cannot help but recall that great quote of Chesterton:

“Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall be gloriously surprised.”

-G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

And gloriously surprised I was. I stayed with a friend at a lovely parish where we were able to serve Mass and enjoy fraternity with two other priests and the pastor. On Christmas day I was tasked with cooking the meal. In proper English fashion, the meal looked like American Thanksgiving. I just found myself struck by the fact that all five of us were from different parts of the world, and yet, here we were speaking and living as though we were old friends. We had met each other just a day earlier, yet our mutual love of Jesus Christ gave us an infinite communion to share.

After returning from England with a quick stop (just long enough to do my laundry and see the New Year’s fireworks of Rome), I was headed off to Corsica, France. Here, some friends and I were staying at a pilgrim house for a few days. Honestly, I once again had no idea what to expect. And once again, I was gloriously surprised by Christ. The sisters had sent a woman (a friend of the convent that has the pilgrim house) to pick us up from the port and bring us up to the house for the first time.

The sunset on Corsica

When we were walking up to the exit from the port, we saw a woman whose smile widened as we appeared. She asked us (in French) if we were seminarians. Luckily, the word in Italian, French, and English are close enough that we knew to say yes to the question. From that moment on, she poured out her love on us in helping us navigate the city, driving us to Mass, and praying holy hours with us. For four days we shared a large chunk of time with this woman, some of the days there was another guest who knew some English and could translate, other days not. For the entirety of the time, we were still able to communicate because we spent our time communicating about something we held in common: Jesus Christ.

Lastly, a random opportunity presented itself this last weekend (I had written this post before, but didn’t like it, so I waited to rewrite it. While waiting this happened, so…the Lord wins again). I was asked by a fellow seminarian to fill in for him for a Mass that he had been asked to serve. I said yes (for some of the guys its finals season here while mine does not start until next week) becasue I was free.

Here in Rome, there have been plenty of holy happenings (and not holy happenings, but that’s a different story) over its 3000ish year history. One moment of Grace was the appearance of our Lady to a man in the Church Sant’ Andrea delle Fratte. Every year since our Lady inspired this man’s conversion to the Catholic and Apostolic Faith, she is celebrated at the altar where she appeared.

It was this Mass that I was asked to serve. The place has a special place in my heart as St. Maximilian Kolbe celebrated his first Mass there too. When we arrived, to our surprise, we were asked who was going to MC the Mass. When no one volunteered, I did (I have done it before, but not often enough to jump at the opportunity). Why did we hesitate you ask? Because the Mass was being celebrated by the Cardinal Archbishop of Genoa, that’s why.

I told the priest who was coordinating everything that I knew how to do it but that I don’t speak Italian well, so I wasn’t sure if he really wanted me to do it. He just smiled and said it would be fine. Thus began a night of real grace as I got to be right by the side of the Cardinal for two hours. What struck me most was this man’s love for Christ and his deep calm and prayer. He is a man in love with Jesus Christ. It was peaceful. We did not exchange much, just some simple small talk afterward, but having stood next to him while he prayed the Eucharistic Prayer and noticing the ease with which we communicated throughout the Mass, I could not help but be once again struck by this intimate communion through Jesus.

This post begins with a quote from one of my favorite books of all time, Liturgy and Personality. In it, Dietrich Von Hildebrand lays out a vision of the Liturgy that challenges one to embrace the veil of mystery and through that embrace to catch a glimpse of the reality. His view of the community formed through the Church’s Liturgy is a great description of what I have attempted to express here: that the closer each one of us is to the God-Man Jesus Christ, the closer we will be to each other. Any attempt to grow closer to each other that is not directed towards intimacy with Christ is folly, and at best will keep us at the same distance away from Him, while at worst it will take us far from Him. I have attempted to sketch it:

What transcends all peoples, all languages, and all cultures without destroying anything that is good in them, what actually enables us to be united with each other in a real spirit of respect and good will, what actually brings peace into the world is Jesus Christ. Any attempt at union or communication without Him is folly, and at worst utter madness. Our desire for unity and community should always be directed towards Him, and if it is, it will bear much fruit.

What I have described is nothing more than the life of the Church and what God wills for each one of us. It is the love of Christ which enables us to love each other, and that is somehting that knows no limits and is not restricted to any one human language.

“What really matters in life is that we are loved by Christ and that we love Him in return. In comparison to the love of Jesus, everything else is secondary. And, without the love of Jesus, everything is useless.”

-St. Pope John Paul II
B. Isenbarger Catholicism, Mary

Marian apparitions are just not that important

The Grotto of Lourdes at the University of Notre Dame

Years ago, I had a revelation occur to me involving the apparition of Mary. While the Blessed Mother did not appear to me in a dream or in country side field, she certainly made her presence known. I was in the eighth grade at the local Catholic school, and several devoted ladies from the Blue Army came to my class and told us all about Our Lady’s appearance at Fatima. I had never heard of the apparition before and found myself quite surprised at the story of the Miracle of the Sun and the faith of Francisco, Jacinta, and Lucia. But shortly thereafter I quickly realized that the apparition was just not that important. 

Do I believe the occurrences at Fatima actually happened? Absolutely. Do I love Our Lady deeply? I recite the rosary daily and have a scapular around my neck right now. But her appearance at Fatima and any other apparition sites are just that – a mere appearance of the Blessed Mother. While they are certainly supernatural appearances which would cause extraordinary wonder in all of us – the appearances of Our Lady are nothing compared to the greatest supernatural event in human history: the Holy Mass. 

In the Holy Mass, the Eternal Word of God appears to us in the Scriptures, and then makes Himself present to us in the Eucharist. In other words, not only does God Himself proclaim a divine message to us in the Liturgy of the Word, but then He gives Himself totally to us in His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in Holy Communion! In all reality, there is nothing which can compare to the gift of the Holy Mass – not even a miraculous appearance of Our Lady. An apparition is the appearance of heaven; communion is its reception. 

All of this revealed two things to me. First, Our Lady’s appearances always find their greatest importance in the way she points away from herself and to her Son. Secondly, I realized my own lack in wonder and awe for the greatest gift ever given to humanity in the Eucharist. If we truly received the gift of the Mass with the love and devotion corresponding to the reality of the event – how different the world would be! Think about the graces which still flow from Fatima or Lourdes. Yet, those are only the fruits of the salvific event which is commemorated at every Holy Mass. In other words, infinitely more graces are waiting to be given at each and every Mass for the salvation of souls and conversion of hearts. 

In short, it is in the Eucharist that God displays the greatest scandal of His love. While most of us think of certain days (weddings, ordinations, the birth of children, etc.) as the greatest days of our lives, it seems the greatest day of our lives is actually the day we experience most frequently: the day we attend Mass and go to Holy Communion. For it is precisely on those days which divinity dwells in our own humanity and salvation takes place in our own beings. Indeed, it is for this reason that the Catechism(1324) calls the Eucharist the “source and summit of the Christian life.”

As we begin this new year beginning on the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, may we beg her intercession to have the corresponding wonder for Holy Mass that should infinitely surpass the wonder we would have at any one of her appearances. After all, compared to her Son, Mary herself doesn’t think her appearances are all that important. 

This was originally written for the folks at Those Catholic Men. You can check them out here.