B. Isenbarger Prayer, Reflection

Asking for the grace of Boredom

Perhaps at this point in the summer – you find yourself in a similar place to me. With the extra free time summer often affords – maybe you find yourself tired of the monotony of scrolling through endless news articles or being paralyzed by the unending choices of movies on Amazon Prime. Whatever the case – you know the feeling – boredom. Even in the midst of the endless entertainment and the various diversions which are readily available, I often find myself with a sense of restlessness and hunger for something new. Recognizing this is a great grace – and a grace I think we should ask for more often. 

Why so? The more readily we are able to recognize our own boredom with the passing things of this world, the more readily will we be able to focus on the One who is ever new. After all – boredom is a singularly secular phenomenon. There is no boredom in heaven – for the unending desire of the human heart is eternally fulfilled in the heavenly reality of pondering the Triune God. Moreover, this also reveals an extraordinarily magnificent reality of our human condition: even now amid the passing things of this world, the desire for eternal fulfillment is already present. This is at the very root of our boredom. The infinite desires of our hearts cease to be satisfied by the finite things which are offered now. Famously, this is why St. Augustine says our hearts are restless until they rest in the Lord. 

In short, asking for the grace to see our boredom is asking the Lord to reveal our greatest desire – namely the desire for Him alone. This is a dangerous endeavor, though. For the more we ask for Him and only Him, the less we will depend on all other created goods. And though we were made with eternal desires for God Himself, as humans with bodies – we still have very real and necessary desires for these same created goods. Thus, we quickly find ourselves in a strenuous process of purification – until all of our desires are rightly re-ordered to our ultimate Destiny. In short, this puts our relationship with God over the very gifts He gives; namely, the Healer over the healing, the Giver over the gifts, and the Savior over the saving. 

Understandably, this is a daunting proposal. 

But I guarantee you will never be bored. 

M. Hellinger Jesus Christ, Reflection

“What can you do?”

On John 6: 30-35

When someone is trying to sell us something, the natural questions that arise go along the lines of, “why do I need this?” “how will it improve my life?” “how much does it cost?” All of these questions really hinge on the essential question: what can it do?

What an item does for us is of supreme importance, because it determines how much we value it. Our value determination regulates our investment in something, and therefore has an effect on our lives to a varying degree.

What an interesting thing, then, that in the Gospel of John the crowd asks Jesus: “What sign can you do, that we may see and believe in you? What can you do (6:30 NAB)?” A better translation of that word “do” in this situation might be “perform” (RSV), but the point remains. The crowd treats Jesus like he is selling something, like the life he is proposing is some sort of diet or life advice. “Ya, the Bread of Life and the Kingdom is cool and all, but what can you do for me?”

But the point is not about the doing. It’s about who Jesus is not what he does. In fact, the crowd betrays themselves when they immediately follow their question with a Scriptural passage: “As it is written: He gave them bread from heaven to eat.” They’ve missed the point.

They are focused on the giving, the doing. What they’ve missed is that the bread was given to them and was sustenence precisely because it was from heaven. What matters is what it is, secondary is what it does.

This is even more so the case with Jesus. Often, we approach Jesus just like we would a salesman who’s selling a nice car or computer. “I’ve heard what you’re giving has done great things for people.” “The commands you’ve given have really helped a lot of people, maybe they can help me.” “If I live according to your commands and prohibitions, maybe you will give me what I ask for in prayer, or better yet, maybe if I give you some of my Sundays, you’ll let me into heaven.” It’s a subtle game of constantly asking the Lord, “What can you do?”

Jesus, however, both sees through our foolishness and desires to actually do so much more. His response is simple. “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst (6:35 NAB).” What matters first is who Jesus is. What he does is not there to convince us to join his feel-good club, it’s a direct result of who he is. Jesus calls us to himself, and it’s when we are in relationship with the Son of God that we expirence the effects of his presence in our lives.

Especially in our consumeristic society where we use people and love things, Jesus is calling us to first love people (first of all God) and from that relationship, things are done. We need to constantly assess how we respond to the proposal Christ is making to us so that our response is not “what can you do?” but rather, “who are you?” Because in the end, the thing that gives any credibility to the claims Jesus makes and the miracles he performs is that he is the Son of God. If he wasn’t that, then anything he did or performed simply doesn’t matter.

If Jesus is the Son of God, then his very being demands the totality of ours. That’s what the crowd doesn’t understand. This is not just another teacher or miracle worker, this is Someone who is totally unique at the level of his being. Belief preceeds the miracles. Assent to who he is comes before he does anything “for” you.

The question the crowd should have asked is the same question we should ask. Not “what can you do?” but “who are you?” The second answers the first.

M. Hellinger Community, Holiness, Reflection

Why You Need a Rule of Life

Socrates famously stated that the unexamined life is not worth living. After 2500ish years, those words still ring true. However, the Christian Event (the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ) has changed things. We should be striving not only for an examined life, but an ordered life in Christ.

Jesus Christ brought order back to creation and part of our life as His followers is allowing Him to re-order our lives, our desires, and our actions. The disorder had its start in the first sin. After the Fall, things were no longer how they were in the beginning. For example, no longer do Adam and the dirt get along; Adam must toil for the land to bear fruit. Also, a fundamental disorder is shown in the relationship between Adam and the Woman. Adam does something he had not done yet (and probably didn’t think to do before) – he gives the woman the name Eve. In the perfect relationship they had before, he would not have done this because only God could have. Now disorder has entered and the way Adam and Eve relate is changed (not for the better).

But Christ undoes this disordering and invites us into His new life.

So… what does this have to do with a rule of life? Freedom, here again, rears its splendid head. If we want to enter into the life in Christ, we need to practice this reordering so that our hearts are made ready for God’s work. This is where a rule comes in. It is a tool intended to draw us to Christ by drawing us out of ourselves.

What is a Rule?

A rule of life is simple, it is a set of expectations that one lives by. Every religious order lives a Rule (most are in someway related to St. Benedict’s Rule, which is subtly one of the most influential documents in the history of Western Civilization). A Rule can be simple or complex, but it is intended to simplify life. It is really beneficial when you live in community because it becomes a standard that all strive for and answerable to. 

How a rule works can be seen by way of example in Lenten penances. Before Lent, we know that prayer, fasting, and alms-giving are the pillars of the season, so we make decisions about how we will live those more intentionally for the duration of Lent. Making that choice at the beginning of Lent actually gives us immense freedom. Instead of having to think of new ways to live those three pillars and choose to do it everyday, we know exactly how we are being called to act (assuming the choice of penitential acts were chosen with proper discernment). It frees us to grow by giving order and clarity.

In a very similar way, a Rule gives freedom because it frees you to die to self in a specific way.

So now the question is: how do I do this? I do not think it is necessary to plan out every moment of your day or every action. For people living a vocation to Matrimony, life is unpredictable in a lot of ways. Therefore, the best way to start is in general. What a Rule does is spell out the most important aspects of your life so that all other decisions are made based on the essential aspects of your life. So start there.

Here’s a suggested list to begin with:

1) Our family/I will go to Mass everySunday and Holy Day

2) Our family/I will go to Confession at least twice a year/once a month/every other month.

3) Our family II will eat a meal together at least __ times a week.

Or, you could also be more a little more specific like:

a) The TV and computer will be turned off in my home at 9pm each night

b) I will pray (or my spouse and I will pray) for at least 10 mins a day in (insert specific place)

The whole point is, once you have discerned and set out those things which are essential to your life, you are free to live instead of constantly having to choose in the moment. One example of the application of this: will the invite to this event make it hard or impossible to go to Mass on Sunday? Answer: I am committed to going to Mass every Sunday, so I can’t go to that event unless I can also get to Mass.

Start small, discern and pray about it. Then let the Rule free you as it shapes your life.

M. Hellinger Catholicism, Lent, Reflection

Are You Ready to Change?

“Put off the old man who is corrupted according to the desire of error, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind: and put on the new man, who according to God is created in justice and holiness of truth.”

Eph. 4:22-24

These words from the letter to the Ephesians are what Dietrich von Hildebrand describes as “inscribed above the gate through which all must pass who want to reach the goal set us by God.” Further, he says,

“All true Christian life, therefore, must begin with a deep yearning to become a new man in Christ, and an inner readiness to “put off the old man” — a readiness to become something fundamentally different.”

Dietrich von Hildebrand
Transformation in Christ

What does it mean for the Christian to become fundamentally different? It is a call to be something wholly other. To throw off the old man, who is a slave to our narrow world view, our prejudices, our vices, to sin itself and the will of the Evil one. It is a change in us that draws us back from bondage to sin into the glory of the Lord who has created us in love.

What allows this difference to happen? This is key because often we want to change ourselves. Recently I was listening to a podcast about forming new habits and one of the points that the speaker made was that when we go about forming new habits it’s important that we start to think in a new mindset. So rather than thinking, “I don’t do that anymore” when it comes to, say, watching 6 hours of Netflix, it is more effective to say, “the type of person I want to be does not watch 6 hours of Netflix on a Tuesday night.”

I think this points to a reality that is deeper than wanting to change bad habits. The change that Jesus Christ effected in the world by His Passion was clear, effective, and permanent. The world can never be the same. God has suffered, died, and rose from the dead. Sin has lost, the battle won.

We are called to life in Christ, to an encounter with a living God who desires to draw us ever closer to Himself. Because of the victory won for us, we cannot just simply say things like “I don’t do that sin anymore” or even, “the saint I want to be wouldn’t do that sin.” The change that God wants to effect in us is deeper and more powerful than any habit change.

We are adopted sons and daughters of God. We no longer live for ourselves, but rather Christ lives in us. Our “readiness to change” really rests primarily in our “readiness to die to self” so that Christ might live in us.

We know when this doesn’t happen in ourselves, and we certainly know when it isn’t happening in others. But we are presented with a great opportunity in the season of Lent to really foster this readiness to change. Because that is the beauty, God does the changing, we just have to be ready.

Through self-denial, exercises of temperance, and even noticeable changes in our daily routine we are not trying to earn holiness or even do penance in the strictest sense (yes, they are penitential practices). Rather, I think it is more helpful to see all of the things we do for Lent as ways that stretch us to be ready (like the wise virgins) for the coming of the Lord into our life. Once we are ready to change, to die to self, then He can come in freedom and accomplish His good work in us.

“The readiness to change is an essential aspect of the Christian’s basic relation with God; it forms the core of our response to the merciful love of God which bends down upon us: ‘With eternal charity hath God loved us; so He hath drawn us, lifted from the earth, to His merciful heart (Antiphon of Praise, Feast of the Sacred Heart).’ To us all has the inexorable yet beatifying call of Christ been addressed: Sequere me (“Follow Me”). Nor do we follow it unless, relinquishing everything, we say with St. Paul: “Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do? (Acts 9:6)”

Dietrich von Hildebrand
Transformation in Christ
M. Hellinger Community, Literature, Reflection

That Glorious Freedom Pt. 4

This is the final installment of a series which began here.

Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Creation has been redeemed in His blood. And the Holy Spirit is fighting tooth and nail to bring the power of that redemption into your life and the life of each and every person who has ever lived and ever will live.

What really motivated me to reflect on this idea was a conversation I had with a friend over the dinner table in which we were discussing miracles and healings. What came up in the conversation is just how complex they are. Here I do not offer a definitive explanation of all things miracles, or even a novice understanding. Rather, something has struck me about the beauty and mystery of miracles and I want to reflect on it.

In his commentary on C.S. Lewis’s Till We Have Faces (which is right above Orthodoxy on my list of books that every person should have to read) Peter Kreeft tells the story of Bertrand Russell near the time of his death. Russell was a militant atheist. Someone asked him what he would do when he died if there was a God and he had to face him. Russell apparently replied by saying, “[I] would say, Sir, I see now that you clearly do exist, so I ask, why didn’t you give us enough evidence?” To this Kreeft points out the age-old answer, that God gives just enough evidence so that those who wish to see Him do and those who do not, don’t.

Well, this got me thinking about how beautiful God is, especially in the way He treats us. At the heart of an answer to Russell and, I suspect, many modern people, is the Glorious Freedom of the Sons of God. Love is what God desires so much that He is willing to do everything He can to draw us to Himself, but since freedom is a necessary foundation for any actual love to exist, everything He does in the world is marked by the need to never compel anyone to lose that freedom.

This really means that every action of God is marked by authentic love in that it cannot force anyone into a relationship with Him. In some ways, it cannot even force someone to believe in Him. Something is lacking in love if you are forced into it. Why does God work miracles for some and not for others? Why does He or His Mother appear to some and not to others? I think that one way we can make sense of these confusing issues is to realize that every miracle, every appearance, every action, is aimed to draw every person to Himself while never violating anyone’s freedom in the process.

I’ve never been satisfied with the idea that God leaves any prayer “unanswered.” I know that we don’t think we mean that God doesn’t hear all our prayers and answer each one when we say that word to describe an unfulfilled request of ours, but I think that we are slowly conditioned to a dangerous premise by using language like that. (All I can think of is that country song that goes, “sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers…some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” And come to think of it, now you are probably singing it in your head…sorry.)

The truth is that God answers every one of our prayers. What limits our perception of His answer and its power in the world is our lack of freedom to accept it, to let it change us. God’s work in this world is mind-numbingly complex, but every action He takes is to draw each one of us into an intimate relationship with Him.

What Jane and Mark seem to be looking for throughout THS is happiness on their own terms, with their own vision being played out as they will it. Ultimately, what Lewis seems to be drawing us to through this work is seeing that our freedom has a purpose and that the paradox of our freedom is that the more it is submitted to the will of God, the freer we become.

May we all grow in courage and freedom as we try to allow God to work more freely in our lives. And may we be ready for change, especially when it requires us to step outside of our own narrow view of the world and God and into the mystery of God’s love and the glorious freedom of the sons of God.

B. Isenbarger Reflection, worship

What do you worship?

It’s definitely a churchy word, but the fact of the matter is – everyone worships something. 

While it’s certainly a good thing for people to associate worship with God, do we ever pause to examine what that word actually means?

In the English etymology, “worship” is actually combination of two words – “worth” and “ship.” So, in its simplest form, worship is what we choose to give the greatest worth. 

How do you evaluate what you give the greatest worth?

For most of us, I would venture to say it is through time and money. As a culture, these two things are what we consider to have the greatest value, and we actually use the word “spend” as the verb of usage in regard to both time and money. So, what we worship seems to be precisely what and where we spend our most time and money.

Living at a seminary connected to an undergraduate university, I have the joy of meeting many different college students. In particular, I have a lot of interactions with student-athletes. I often find them to be extraordinarily talented and driven people. They have their sights on incredible goals and dreams. All of this is quite admirable. Academics, athletics, and career success are all fine things to aim for – but they can never be that which we worship – or give the greatest worth. 

Simply on a human level, these things are fleeting and extrinsically contingent. Cognitive ability, physical health, and job opportunities are by and large contingent upon external factors. 

Worship, however, is an act of the will which we can freely choose to undertake. Unfortunately, in a society which can mindlessly spend much of its time and money on fleeting things, it seems we inadvertently allow our freedom to be given to things which do not leave us in place of lasting peace and happiness. There are always more degrees to attain, more games to win, and more money to be made. 

The Lord, however, made us for both peace and happiness. In fact, that’s the whole point of the story. God almighty wants nothing more, or less, than the happiness of His beloved children – so much so that He was even willing to sacrifice His only Son. Further, he gave us His commandments as a guidebook for happiness. 

In particular, the Lord’s first commandment calls us to worship Him – not because He is some needy attention seeker – but precisely so that we can live lives of peace and happiness. In fact, our worship of Him adds nothing to His glory but only benefits us! When God is given true worship, in which we give Him the ultimate worth, all other things find their proper place. Success, athletic prowess, and business prestige quickly become ancillary and seen as passing things. Moreover, our investment in the worship of God has a guaranteed profitable return in the form of our own freedom and happiness. 

To me, that sounds like a pretty good deal. 

B. Isenbarger Chastity, priesthood, Reflection

In Defense of Celibacy

I have a confession to make:

I am in Love. 

Over the centuries as well as in recent days, there have been many questioning the long-standing discipline of priestly celibacy. Some claim it to be impossible. Others claim it to be unnatural. 

But what does Jesus say?

Let’s take a look at Matthew 22:30, where Jesus speaks of marriage from the perspective of heaven:

“At the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like the angels in heaven”

Further, let’s not forget St. Paul in his address to in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34:

“I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided”

I think it is precisely the issue of celibacy which illustrates the divide between the life of the Spirit and the life of the flesh and the world. For those with an eye toward heaven, there is a realization that there is only one true Wedding Feast – that of the Lamb (Christ) and the Bride (the Church) (see Rev. 19). For those who experience Christian marriage, there is a foretaste of the one Wedding Feast through the love exchanged between spouses. For those living a life of celibacy, this foretaste is forgone in order to experience the reality of total communion with Christ here and now. As marriage is a foretaste of what is to come, celibacy is an icon of that eternal Wedding Feast now.

For those called to a life of celibacy, it is truly a wonderful gift. While it, like marriage, is not an end in itself, it is certainly an avenue to participating in the eternal love of God in a unique and unmediated way. 

In other words, as I write this now, I can tell you unashamedly, that I am in Love. 

No, I’m not talking about some affective state. I am talking about a Person – Jesus Christ. 

Jesus Christ is the God, who is love, made incarnate. Through the gift of my baptism, confirmation, and sharing in His flesh in the eucharist, I have a life which is sacramentally united totally Him. In fact, every time I go to Mass, I re-enter into that one, eternal Wedding Feast of the Lamb. 

Through ordination to the priesthood, the priest shares in the one priesthood of Christ, the Lamb who was slain and the divine Bridegroom. To put it another way, the priest is configured in a particular way to be the living and incarnate image of Christ wedded to His Bride – the Church. 

So, why do I want to live priestly celibacy?

Because I am in love with Love Himself and have heard that His Bride is prepared to welcome Him (Rev. 19:7).

In short, I believe in heaven. 

And I want to see you at the Wedding. 

M. Hellinger Community, Literature, Reflection

That Glorious Freedom Pt. 3

“I am the Director,” said Ransom, smiling. “Do you think I would claim the authority I do if the relation between us depended either on your choice or mine? You never chose me. I never chose you. Even the great Oyeresu whom I serve never chose me. I came into their worlds by what seemed, at first, a chance; as you came to me- as the very animals in this house first came to it. You and I have not started or devised this: it has descended on us — sucked us into itself, if you like. It is, no doubt, an organisation: but we are not the organisers. And that is why I have no authority to give any one of you permission to leave my household.”

This a series of posts that begins here.

Warning: Spoilers ahead. If you want to know the whole story first, read The Space Trilogy by C.S. Lewis.

Now we turn to Jane and see an entirely different story. Jane begins the story just like Mark, with an improper view of Freedom. She is regretting her Marriage to him, her being tied down in a regrettable situation which isn’t what she thought it would be. Her vision of Marriage is wrong, but her vision of what freedom looks like within Marriage is really what’s driving this problem. She wanted to remain herself, not get lost in the other. Since both her and Mark have this attitude, they are both failing to give themselves wholly to the other, both failing to freely empty themselves to love the other.

In the midst of this, she finds herself troubled by an incredible gift she has: the ability to see past her own experience. In this way, Jane really becomes the center of the novel, because both sides desperately need her. It is this skill and how it is sought after that I think best tells us Lewis’s view of the workings of the Devil and God.

I am struck by the laxity of Ransom’s approach to the whole situation of convincing Jane to join his rag-tag team. The attitude he presents is one that communicates the truth – they could really use her as part of the team, but ultimately his trust is in something more powerful and therefore she is totally free to choose. If she comes, great. If she joins Belbury, well, its certainly a setback, but the crux of the fight really doesn’t rest on her in the way the reader would expect.

The same is true for us in a way. God has won the victory over sin and death. In reality, He doesn’t need us to help Him in that, in fact, He is fine without us. Therefore, His concern is not trying to build a more powerful army, with the gifts and abilities he needs to win. Rather, God is concerned with building a community of beloved Sons and Daughters who live in intimate and unceasing union with Him and each other. The only way that happens is when we willing submit ourselves to His Fatherly Love.

In the same way, Ransom certainly sees the use that Jane’s gift brings, but he is in no way interested in forcing her to join them because in forcing her he would remove any meaning her being on the team gives. It would limit her free gift of herself which is the prerequisite for love. He would gain nothing because the person is what matters, not the skill. This is seen in Mark’s case as the opposite by him being so concerned about how they will use his abilities and where he fits in in Belbury. Jane knows she brings a useful skill, and Ransom knows how it will be helpful, but she has to give herself over in freedom before that skill is any use to him.

“There you are,” said Camilla.“Oh, Mrs. Studdock, you must come in. You must, you must. That means we’re right on top of it now. Don’t you see? We’ve been wondering all this time exactly where the trouble is going to begin, and now your dream gives us a clue. You’ve seen something within a few miles of Edgestow. In fact, we are apparently in the thick of it already — whatever it is. And we can’t move an inch without your help. You are our secret service, our eyes. It’s all been arranged long before we were born. Don’t spoil everything. Do join us.”
“No, Cam, don’t,” said Denniston. “The Pendragon — the Head, I mean, wouldn’t like us to do that. Mrs. Studdock must come in freely.” “But,” said Jane, “I don’t know anything about all this. Do I? I don’t
want to take sides in something I don’t understand.”
“But don’t you see,” broke in Camilla, “that you can’t be neutral? If
you don’t give yourself to us, the enemy will use you.”
The words, “give yourself to us,” were ill-chosen. The very muscles of Jane’s body stiffened a little: if the speaker had been anyone who attracted her less than Camilla she would have become like stone to
any further appeal. Denniston laid a hand on his wife’s arm.

The appeal is for her to give herself over. The reason she is so hesitant at the suggestion is that she has yet to build trust with the person to whom she is giving herself over; in this case, Maleldil, in our case, God. The reality is that the goodness of Maleldil leaves no room for a half-hearted gift. In our response to God, as was mentioned in the first post, He doesn’t want our ability to write, or cook, or whatever. He has no use for them. The only thing he wants is the entirety of our being, all of our love. That is something that is incomprehensibly great, something that doesn’t happen at once, but through conversion and constant growth. Jane’s process is not an inside/outside of the circle process like Mark’s. It’s a slow integration into the community that happens to the extent that she is willing to give yourself to us.

Jane’s freedom is never violated. In fact, her freedom is constantly maintained by Ransom, who understands what love is and what it demands. This is the trusting love made possible through an authentically free gift of self to God that will conquer That Hideous Strength.

“I am not speaking of the wraiths,” said Ransom.“I have stood before Mars himself in the sphere of Mars and before Venus herself in the sphere of Venus. It is their strength, and the strength of some greater than they, which will destroy our enemies.”

Mars and Venus, the Masculine and Feminine, are for us the most understandable symbols of the Love that conquers darkness. They are the representatives of that time, in Original Justice, when Man and Woman loved each other in perfect freedom and God had possession of their entire selves as a free gift. It is this love, which points to the very mystery of God’s love which is possible by the pure exercise of free will that conquers. It is what drove the Incarnation and what allows us, here and now, to be wrapped up in God as his beloved Sons and Daughters.

Freedom, then, is seen not for what we think it is. Freedom is not license for us to do what pleases us. Rather, freedom is the underlying necessity for love. Once we are caught up in love, in a sense, we lose our freedom. Why is this? Because the free assent to love, to respond to the other, is what allows us to see the other as a part of us, and us a part of them. Once we realize that we are part of that Lover, obeying the wishes of a Lover is really an exercise of freedom rather than a limit on it. The paradox is that the more we love, the freer to love we become because disobeying the pure wishes of our Lover –specifically God who made us– is to go against our nature, to attempt to be something more than a creature, to attempt to be God.

Next time, we will conclude this little reflection with some thoughts about how freedom is maintained at all times by God.

M. Hellinger Community, Literature, Reflection

That Gloriou​​​s Freedom Pt. 2

Last time, I set the basis for this discussion in presenting some aspects of freedom and how important it is as a basis for Love. This time, we are going to dive into the ways in which the experience of the two main characters of C.S. Lewis’s That Hideous Strength demonstrate how God works versus how Satan works, especially when it comes to freedom.

This is the second part of a series that begins here.

I once again note this series is going to, by necessity, contain some spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Let’s start with Mark. Poor chap.

“Making things clear is the one thing the D.D. can’t stand,” replied Miss Hardcastle.“That’s not how he runs the place. And mind you, he knows what he’s about. It works, Sonny. You’ve no idea yet how well it works. As for leaving, you’re not superstitious, are you? I am. I don’t think it’s lucky to leave the N.I.C.E.You needn’t bother your head about all the Steeles and Cossers. That’s part of your apprenticeship. You’re being put through it at the moment, but if you hold on you’ll come out above them. All you’ve got to do is to sit tight. Not one of them is going to be left when we get going.”

Throughout this tale, Mark’s driving motivation is to be part of a circle, a community. It display’s itself from the beginning with his involvement in the “Progressive Element,” and turns out to be his demise as he falls into the trap of the NICE. And that’s just the point, Mark is controlled by this need to fit in, to belong, and it is this un-met need that the evil forces use for their own ends.

His whole situation screams of manipulation. He is essentially preyed upon by the NICE in an attempt to get to his wife. Once brought in, he is convinced that he cannot leave (although as the story develops it is clear that he has strong reason to believe that he cannot leave as anyone who tries to is murdered). Even when he is eventually given some “freedom” it is again only used as a tool to manipulate him into doing something for the evil power, be it trying to convince his wife to come to Belbury or watching over the Tramp.

The point here is this: Mark was never free. In many ways, he is convinced he is free, especially as regards the way in which he views his marriage. But the whole time, his mistaken perception of the world and freedom are being used to draw him into the heart of evil in the world. He starts convincing himself that he is disconnected from what is happening by just being the guy writing up the lies for the papers, not the one making them, etc. He is trapped in a false view of freedom that only serves to manipulate him and keep him stuck in his own small self, not open to Reality.

It’s also important to note that he is in pursuit of a good, namely, belonging. He cannot get that feeling with his wife, because they both refuse to subordinate their wills and lives to the other, instead choosing to try to live the lie that they can maintain total freedom and yet have an intimate and meaningful relationship, and so he searches for it elsewhere, to no avail.

By way of a brief, but related aside: I think it is important to note here how freedom plays into our vocations. In every vocation, we live out a call to intimacy with God if we live it rightly. This requires us to submit freely to the will of the other, in Matrimony it’s the spouse, in Religious Life and Priesthood, it’s Jesus and His Church. Our freedom is not limited when we give it away like this, because every day we must renew our free offering of self. Things go awry when we stop giving ourselves completely to the other, this is when marriages and religious life start falling apart—because we start keeping some of ourselves for our own (like Mark and Jane do).

Another way in which this takes place explicitly is in the process he goes through as his “initiation” into the inner circle. This endless pursuit of the “objective” is nothing more than a repression of his freedom. In a world that only looks for “objectivity,” one becomes a slave to data (which can be skewed quite un-“objectively,” mind you). What is removed is the whole Affective sphere of Man’s experience, which is ultimately dehumanizing. Without the ability to exercise the affect, man is hardly capable of being anything more than a slightly more apt robot, subject to the whims of commands of someone else guised as “reason” instead of the unique person who is capable of encountering Truth with his whole being and learning to respond to it.

What happens to Mark in this story is what happens to us as we fall into sin. We slowly convince ourselves that our “freedom” is really a license to do what benefits us while we pursue our own vision of what life is and confine any “supernatural” power acting in the world to our narrow worldview. As we find company in this endless pursuit for meaning apart from what we were made for, we slowly find ourselves deeper and deeper inside an existence that has no meaning, that seems to draw life out of us and leave us less than ourselves with doubt, anxiety, confusion, etc.

The whole time our experience of the Devil is revealed: he is someone who will do anything to convince us to join him, even fooling us about the good. Further, once we join him, he convinces us that the only way to survive in his hopeless world is to go deeper, to find the secrets that God doesn’t want us to know, to exercise “freedom” by not being limited by any rules that we don’t like. That is what the title of this work refers to, That Hideous Strength of Satan. What is the answer to such a sad reality? To the pressure exerted on us with what seems like overwhelming strength? For an answer, we must assess Jane’s situation.

B. Isenbarger Healing, Jesus Christ, Reflection, The Faith

Jesus wants to heal you

Do you actually believe that? Or is that phrase simply some kind of pious sentiment. In the course of our lives we have all experienced suffering to one degree or another. However, when that suffering becomes prolonged and shows very few signs of progress, it is very easy to become disheartened and doubtful. In fact, it becomes very easy to doubt whether God actually does want to heal our broken bodies and wounded souls. Even the most stouthearted saints like Therese of Lisieux began to feel the overwhelming darkness and extraordinary feelings of isolation from God when enduring the trials of tuberculosis. 

So, let’s take a deeper look at the meaning of healing – does Jesus actually want to heal us?

To start – what does it mean to be healed? In the biblical world, to be healed means to be made whole or to be saved. In fact, the Gospel writers often use the same word to indicate both healing and saving. It is interesting to note, though, that not every one who encountered Christ in the Gospels was physically cured. However, Christ did desire for them all to be saved and in this way He truly did desire to heal all those encountered. Unfortunately, some did not recognize the healing presence of Christ in their midst. I think this is the case with most of us when it comes to the Lord’s healing presence. 

According to John Paul II, healing is the Healer, Jesus Christ.

In his encyclical Redemptoris missio, St. John Paul II pointed out the following:

“Jesus implies that the message of salvation is in fact himself: “Since the ‘Good News’ is Christ, there is an identity between the message and the messenger, between saying, doing and being”

In other words, the message of healing and salvation is not primarily found in the external act of having particular ailments cured of infirmity, but rather in the communion with the One who is salvation Himself. It is from this source alone that our bodies and souls can actually be restored to health.

To use a striking example, let’s recall the story of the ten lepers in the Gospel of Luke 17:11-19. Take a second to check it out and recall the story here. What happens in the story? Ten lepers, the most outcast of society and in extraordinary pain, approached the Lord and begged for His pity. I’m sure it’s a familiar place we have all been – looking for anything that will help and begging the Lord for mercy. What happens next is the incredible part of the story and exemplifies total healing. While all ten of the lepers were cured of their leprosy, only one was totally healed – the one who returned to Jesus, fell at His feet, and gave thanks. In response to this, what does Jesus say? “Your faith has saved you.” 

Here are the takeaways from this little pericope. 

First, all of us our broken and wounded in our humanity. We all need healing and saving. Like the ten lepers, there is no shame in begging the Lord for His mercy. In fact, this is absolutely what we should so. Along with this, though, we must be especially disposed to receive the Lord’s healing in whatever way He chooses to give it. While the nine lepers saw their physical maladies cured, only one saw the source of the healing and returned to be in communion with Christ. In this way, he was totally reintegrated in both body and soul. He received total healing – salvation.

And how did he receive this healing? Jesus said it was through his faith. Faith is the source of our healing. It gives us eyes to see the presence of Christ in our midst so that we can enter into communion with him. For it is in communion with Christ that we are led to the vision of the Father, which is heaven. To put it simply, without Christ there is no healing. With Him, there is always healing – for He is healing itself. 

In sum, there is no human condition which Christ does not want to heal. He truly desires to bring all woundedness and brokenness into communion with Himself. This is the very nature of His life and ministry. By nature of the Incarnation He brought our broken humanity to Himself, and through the mystery of His Cross He conquered death and brought about eternal life through His resurrection. In so doing, there is now no area of human life which is exempt from His presence – from His healing. The key, I believe, to receiving this healing is found in that great gift of faith which allows us to see Christ’s presence pervading every aspect of our lives. It draws us into communion with Him and will inevitably allow us to see the finality of our healing according to the eternal horizon of heaven. 

So does Jesus want to heal you?

Ask Him.

I believe He’s already in the process.